That chair has made me absolutely a ranking. Jungle Boogie got you beat. Crouching tiger hidden dragon. Nefarious. Believe in your dreams. Congratulations on your raise. A band of Wands holding its own baton

All the art she was using, she was cross using – manipulating

My work here is done and my hands are in the Fates

Send that attitude somewhere else. Complete me.

Please God I am desperate to be on my own. Child safety laws. Wrong wrong wrong.

Decoration for my cake.

3 houses/slideshow – Castle—Nobody’s converted from you.

Takes the cake –this/me.

I have 3 w/holes in my heart. Difficult decision → I gotta go → everyone. Alas.

↑ Special ed. It just sucks I can’t keep a guy.

When all I have to give is love and commitment and lots of fun and love. Angel card. Wrong angel.

Cleaning up your mess. It’s not you it’s me –them. Devil energy. I’m a white dove → shady on crack. She makes up for lost time –Clark. Ralph and Casey? Taboo. Reunion special. Not for you and me. Pins himself against you –Chris[t] to Brandyn. Purse setting. Align.

Brandyn’s not okay. I am heartbroken beyond repair.

Repair. Yesterday I was on top of the world with Tollehardt. Had him in the palm of your hands – until he gave it away. Hmmm. Huhh. Rhetoric. Sucks for me. Box cutter. X-Acto knife.

He gave away my love and my passion. Sucks for my soul.

I’ll never have another.

Tollehardt broke Brandyn’s heart and now there’s no fixing me.

I have nothing left to give – officially. Lifeless of the party. Everything’s gone. Disrespecting me like that. There’s no difference. The most ambitious person I know. Someone else waiting for you in the wing. Addicted to your personality. Natalie. Hat/scarf over Beyoncé [black/Muslim] colorful. Good luck with that.

I will keep searching for a knight and shining armor.

Got my fingers crossed –Chris[t]. Budget for me. Dead blossom. Me and Tollehardt. I am always a sacrifice. They say around every career is a family curse. February 26, ←[2026]. I saw Riley as a baby with a flower on her butt. ←Jessica’s Riley

That chair has made me absolutely a ranking.

Jungle Boogie got you beat. Crouching tiger hidden dragon. Nefarious.

Believe in your dreams. Congratulations on your raise.

A band of Wands holding its own baton.

A band of Wands holding its own batons. Deviant art. Drex = end of life for me.

Me explain 5 years ago—Deviant = not demon art and I drew it to mom and dad but I was a lost cause—what was the point in doing.

Drex and window and like Drex get harm.

All the art she was using, she was cross using – manipulating.

The rejection = Tollehardt = too much.

An energetic death/rebirth en store.

Bigger d∴ to fry. I kept showing to mom/dad why I was using but suicide was the only route and option left.

No one believed in until it was too late.

Shouldn’t turn off the writing [music].

Tollehardt careless with my heart = energetic death. I am literally worthless to a man. Leftover voices. Tailspin. A complete disrespect to the community [cleaning up your mess]. And [diseases] heart.

Fearless in the name of God. Apples to Apples.

Paul laughing. –in sleep. Screwed up. Charlie’s Antiques → if you remember them → nextdoor to Duane – no not so much – Duane parks nextdoor/car and we talk – older ladies looking classy and special. Looking in trunks of cars checking out their cargo room and difference.

This model/clay looking hand → and then there were 2 of them – both sides. Open the door.

That’s an energetic death you will never recover from.

Me smoking/said I would smoke in the car 3 hits and join the recovery. How near and dear to my heart.

If anyone wants to talk to me → I wanna be honest.

Judging a book by its cover. Me.

Being with you has hers so bad. California Boogie killed the dream and made me weak and die. My life force energy [vampire] slowly drained and Chris[t] was a standby – totally abusive/incoherent. [Drama] and he is the real reason Aubrey’s Arch lost. I would rather neither than live a lonely existence as this.

Squirming and worming and for them to watch, umm. Humiliate me. No I didn’t intend to for you – my right under God’s oath – I tried to talk – you refused → you both knew what you were doing [equal footing] and you were not right in your handlings – left me no choice – then to burn my life down.

And I just don’t care anymore. Starting over from nothing and nobody.

I just don’t play games and that is the bottom line—I am sincere.

We all are but Clark is the one who got away – with murder.

I’ve never had that with anybody and I’m thankful → my feelings were real – so were Tollehardts and it just is what it is. Ultimately. I’m tired God, and lonely and desperate. I can tell it’s over for me and I’m tired.

My work here is done and my hands are in the Fates.

But I. Don’t expect much other than what I’ve had. Barely survival when everyone else thrives.

I’m just the chosen one to suffer and everyone watches.

It’s horrible, a horrible position to be in.

I just want some love but I’m not good enough.

For anybody. I will walk my path and we’ll see if I survive.

If I can’t file suicide → I’m going to take my lucky brains.

I have absolutely nothing to live for and I’ll never come back. I am tired and I’m tired of fighting. I just want to live alone and we’ll see if I can survive. ‘The brightness of your beautys here with me—In your presence God I’m completely satisfied‘. Umm – I still want a man for me or I’ll go.

Daily confirmation. Forgiveness routine. Spiritual test/lesson. I cannot control – I need support and have zero. Sexual energy explode. I have none. I’m just going to go.

My final hoorah and at least I have the dignity to recognize and not keep murdering Chris[t] in depth. He was so wrong to me and I’ll always feel that. Never loved me. I was left no choice and God take me away.

‘The brightness of your grace is here with me‘.

The true feeling of being alone.

I just gave up because I was done. With me. Together we’re stronger.

Just take me if it’s my time God. Christmas present. Closing out cycles. Omar doesn’t like you.

I’m 39—you’re trying to date someone else.

November 9th, 2024

Gather ’round and say goodbye. On the report card. [Family secret]. That was clarifying. Exhausting. The sound healers. Come onto the other side. How Chris[t]— could of saved me but he didn’t. [deep breath]. Help you. –Chris[t]. Beyond repair. Nefarious. SOS. Receive a text from me. Advanced wisdom. Jessica/black guy—sound therapy. Shocking turn of events

Death row. X-Acto knife. Anger after my hardest decade long event with no avail. Who would want to go on? So hard/impossible to experience the conditions of my soul. What I was placed into. Violent. Devil energy. Reached out to you multiple times → my life was spared. Nefarious. Brain dead. No matter what we’ll always be together. When you can’t be yourself. I have never loved something so much that didn’t love me back. Can start winning on your race. Had even procedure. Your life was spared today

Fireworks. You never would believe what I have in store for you [missing something]. Explosive

Broken beyond repair. Jessica giving sound therapy to black guy – and black guy wanting her. I saw myself hit—hit a tree and I died → my head was hit and I didn’t even mean to it [buckle up baby] it’s like I didn’t even mean to. Spiritual experience of a lifetime.

I was [dangerous] going [cleaning up your mess] [what’s going happen] [shocking] and I was going down a road and water and I was ejected and hit my head on a tree and everyone was gathered ’round.

Cousins and people—family and seeing if I made it. [poor girl] did I [just witness my death] [saying goodbye]. And someone placed a thermometer in my mouth and checked if I was alive. Tragic accident on the report card. [you’re not going to make it] [heavy hitter].

A lifetime of suffering and regret. Dangerous position. Pay attention. Beautiful pussy. To no fault of her own. Tragic accident. Gather ’round and say goodbye. On the report card. [Family secret]. That was clarifying. Exhausting.

The sound healers. Come onto the other side. How Chris[t]— could of saved me but he didn’t. [deep breath].

Help you. –Chris[t]. Beyond repair. Nefarious. SOS. Receive a text from me. Advanced wisdom. Jessica/black guy—sound therapy.

Shocking turn of events.

Psychic’s distinct. Grasshopper – flying. Wisdom. I tried to reach out multiple times and he knows. Public knowledge betrayal. Your boyfriend. I’m not mad at you. How could be.

Death row. X-Acto knife.

Anger after my hardest decade long event with no avail.

Who would want to go on?

So hard/impossible to experience the conditions of my soul.

What I was placed into. Violent. Devil energy.

Reached out to you multiple times → my life was spared. Nefarious.

Brain dead. No matter what we’ll always be together.

When you can’t be yourself.

I have never loved something so much that didn’t love me back.

Can start winning on your race. Had even procedure. Your life was spared today. Take my dignity back. I have none – duh. Gone. [Crutches] no choice. –deliberate.

Fireworks.

You never would believe what I have in store for you [missing something].

Explosive.

KKK member. 15 minutes of fame is up. Real work. Bathroom paycheck. Sing with your heart out—Bubble butt. Bunk beds sliding beds leading everyone astray.

Deeper crevasse [Deeper faith]. Is upon.

I was cast out like a demon [and wasn’t 1].

She was. Clearly. Separation anxiety.

My own gas. Split your own secrets.

Nefarious. Guy at campground introduced – hubba hubba. [he doesn’t want you like that –deliberate insult]. embarrassing – fantasy land. delusional – like me.

More proactive about making a routine – have no stress. Patterns in my heaven.

I don’t need this knot for puppets anymore.

He’s kinda like a Christian sinner.

You had the chance to really make a difference in a beautiful person’s life and you chose to destroy mine.

That’s it.

No one could withstand the psychic and emotional turmoil your abuse caused. Abuse. Only word for your behavior.

∴ want me to win. I always wanted them to win. Or the level of perfection I had to attain to be loved was unattainable. Karmic situations the worst thing in my life. It is what it is right now. Grace and understanding. ∴

Phantom pain.

November 10th, 2024

Security guard [vision].

In love with you from every angle – that adds up.

The whole 9 yards.

Music to my ears.

Jumping timelines.

Another healing process begins.

Owe her an apology.

Jealous. Manoa.

11.5–11.10.24—texts